My last post was blaming poor Doctor Tiki for coming up with a couple of misguided shooters. Well, this time he gets some praise instead – Doctor Tiki is the brain behind the London Fogcutter.

See, the Doctor (like all of us on Tiki Bar TV) enjoy a nice glass of the Champers. I say we ditch the stigma of Champagne being the “special fancy” drink that never gets consumed – break that fucker out of the cabinet and have it because it’s Tuesday! Crack open a bottle of the bubbly because you finished another week at work without getting fired!

Drink it anytime! Drink it in excess! Much like I did, during this one wedding? The bartenders just kept handing me bottles. I didn’t even bother with a glass. By the end of the night (and after some six bottles) I must admit that Johnny Johnny was a little…. ruffled.

AAANYHOW,there’s loads of great brands of Champs from OUTSIDE of France (technically it’s not “champagne”, but who gives a rats ass – I’m not about to call every bottle bubbly “sparking wine beverage”, because that sounds silly). Try a few of the brands local to you and you might be pleasantly surprised.

ANYHOW – We at Tiki Bar like champers. THE PROBLEM IS, it’s not all that efficient. You can’t really “blast” through it like your standard cocktail. It took six bottles to get my shirt untucked. Who has that much time?

So the good doctor “augmented” the champers with a double shot of Gin, and shaved the edge off the drink with a shot of lime juice. it’s champage for those of you who have somewhere to go and not much time to get there.
Brilliant.

The London Fogcutter

2 ounces of Gin
1 ounce of fresh lime juice
6 ounces of Champagne or “Champagne substitute”

Serve over ice, because those champagne flutes are for beret wearing noodle-norks in black turtlenecks ogling abstract prints at tiny art shows. Mug me, baby.

Tip tip horrah,

JJ.

Science!

Doctor Tiki gets full credit for this one. It’s a prescription pad original.

The Trap Door

1 ounce Gin
1 ounce Spiced Rum
Juice of 1/2 a lime
2 oz fresh orange juice
1 oz soda water

Madly combine ingredients. If there’s no more room for Soda, use to your own better discretion. Drink and disappear.

We did this one for our second episode and YES, I KNOW. This is NOT the classic recipe. It’s not even close. It was episode two. I mean, come on. Bourbon? See, we had Gin, Bourbon, a great looking mug, and a convenience store downstairs. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I swear, the ghost of Trader Vic appeared later that night when I was sleeping, and he tried to kill me with a bar spoon.
Aaaanyhow!

Here’s the Tiki Bar TV Version of this classic. Which is… you know, like our show. A little screwy.

The Suffering Bastard

1 1/2 ounces Gin
1/2 ounce Bourbon
3 ounces of Ginger Ale
the juice of 1/2 a lime

Pour ingredients into a shaker, toss in some ice, swirl around with the cap off and then decant the entire thing back into your mug (which is called “rolling”, by the way). Some university kid sent me an email cursing me and my “stupid drink” because he put the cap on his shaker, and shook the shit out of it – and the thing exploded all over the dame he was trying to impress. Whoops.
So, you know, DON’T shake carbonated drinks. That’s today’s hot tip. You can have that one for free.

Back from Comic-Con! Sorry for the lack of updates. Had a great time and met a load of cool people at the Diggnation taping. It’s time to shake off the pop culture dust with a drink from the vault.

This one comes from one of the oldest books in my collection; it’s a spiral bound tiny little thing from the “Pink Elephants” line (which fetch a pretty penny on Ebay) and was printed in 1952. It’s got a load of old classics which can be a nice change of pace.

This one is to be served in a cocktail glass; something I almost never use. They’re just so…tiny. I mean, the heft of a Tiki mug… the sexy allure of a nice tall Collins… compared to them, the little dinky shot-glass on a stem just seems to look dorky. But hey, that trip down memory lane? It’s free, and we don’t even need a passport.

The Ideal Cocktail

1 ounce. dry Gin
1/2 ounce Grapefruit Juice
1/2 ounce dry Vermouth
1 teaspoon of fine sugar (a bit less than quarter ounce of simple syrup would probably work as well – I never seem to have any fine sugar on hand)
3 dashes Angostura bitters

The book says to “shake with cracked ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass dressed with a cherry”.

Consider the “Ideal” a cocktail vacation from our usual rum-chugging antics.

Enjoy!